Cute animal story

Everyone likes cute animal. Today I want to share something about cute animal and some picture of cute animal box..

How can you tell when an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
Look for elephant tracks in the butter.

How do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose is touching the ceiling.

How do you make an elephant float?
Add two scoops of ice cream and a can of root beer to one elephant.

How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun, of course.

How do you shoot a red elephant?
No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a green elephant?
Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
Don’t be silly, there’s no such thing as a yellow elephant!

How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card.

How you get down from an elephant?
You don't, you get down from ducks.

If you see an elephant in your car, what time is it?
Time to get a new car!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How can you breathe through that?"

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

                

Do you feel funny about this joke?

And do you like the picture of cute animal box?

                 

Next, I will give you more fun.

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat "you lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know".

The cat thinks for a moment and says "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says "say no more" and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later 6 mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. We are tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says "say no more" and fits each mouse with a beautiful pair of roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you are here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those Meals On Wheels you have been sending by are the best!!!"

Do you like this story?

                    

So one day, all of the animals came together and made the following deal: Each will tell a joke, and if everyone doesn't laugh at it then they would kill the joke teller. (I don't know why they did this... maybe they were hungry?)

So anyway, the Rabbit went first. The Rabbit told this great joke. All of the animals were laughing hysterically, rolling on the floor and slapping their knees (if they had knees). All that is except for the Hippopotamus.

So, what could they do... the Hippo did not laugh. They had to kill the Rabbit. After promptly doing so, they gave the next turn to the lion.

The Lion told a really dumb joke, that was not funny at all. All of the animals just sat there and stared, but the Hippo started laughing a tremendous laugh. The animals asked the Hippopotamus: "Why are you laughing? The Joke wasn't funny."

To which the Hippo replied: "Didn't you get the Rabbit's Joke?"

What a funny joke! What a cute animal box picture!

                  

A Cat's New Year Resolutions

My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink's drain.

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my bottom.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

What a cute animal box picture!

                   

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a new board in her computer.